Day 823: Up early, out of sequence

Insomnia strikes again, this time in the rare (for me) “can’t get to sleep” format; asleep at about 1 a.m., up at 4:30 as my wife was heading out the door. The cascade from there is exercise / feed cats / this, and I haven’t showered yet, which feels off.

The amount that routine matters never fails to amaze me with this. I do well when I have a routine, and I don’t do well when the routine falls apart. That’s all there is to it. I resist routine because it feels like I’m somehow losing flexibility or self-direction, or… something… but it simply works. Nothing works but the routine and sticking to it.

Why do I resist routine so hard? It clearly works. Is it an inherent lack of discipline that manifests itself, or some sort of rebellious streak?