Day 557: Big Dick Energy (this is a thing now)

This is the big buzzy thing in motivation-talk right now; it’s pretty unavoidable. There’s a rundown on Vox that’s as good as anything I’ve read. It acknowledges that there’s a huge inherent problem with the phrase — it’s just a tiny bit gendered, even if people are insisting that it’s more about attitude than physical attributes.

In a nutshell — if you’re wondering — you can paraphrase it as the less exciting phrase constructive confidence. It was originally coined to describe Anthony Bourdain after he passed, and then later comedian/actor Pete Davison. Then it pretty much blew up.

Confidence, backed by the knowledge that the confidence is well founded, and confidence that lets you elevate yourself without it being at the expense of others. It’s a sense of I’ve got it going on and I can will lift other people up with me.

The opposite of Big Dick Energy is the Gamergate / Jordan Peterson / Incel crowd. It’s the opposite of I feel put-upon and angry and everything that’s wrong is other people’s fault. 

So I’m not crazy about the “dick” thing. But I like the vibe.

Do I have Big Dick Energy? Nah. I’m definitely of the mindset that I think other people, especially marginalized people and minorities, need to be supported, and people in a position to help them do better should do that. But I don’t think I throw off that I’m king of the world! vibe.

But it’s an interesting question to ask myself before meetings, or even before the day starts. I know what I’m good at. I know where my strengths are. Do I feel that deeply enough to give it a little swagger? Maybe I should think about that a bit more.