Day 137: How I’m Remembered

All right. I’ve taken on an extra project at work over the last year. It’s cross-sectional, which means I’m kind of repping our department. It’s also been a lot more work than advertised. And my role is one that involves a lot of output at crunch times, with a lot of input from other players. Dealing with that has driven something home for me in terms of how I’m dealing with others. Thinking about how I’m remembered after the fact.

So the recurring situation has been Stuff Happens, and then it all kind of tumbles down to fast required actions to make sense of it on my end. Which has been making me… testy. I don’t mind self-directed work. Or teamwork. Or taking ownership for my mistakes. But it’s been a LOT of compensating for structural deficiencies and dropped balls for the last week. Which is in turn affecting my actual work.

So I’m striving to always remember when dealing with this stuff that how I deal with the stuff is how I’m remembered.

People might remember what I did. But who I was is how I’m remembered.

It’s nuts, but it’s true. Relationships stick more than facts, most of the time. When I think back to past jobs, I don’t remember a lot of the specifics of the work, but I remember what it was like to work with people. I know who I’d trust and who I’d hire based on those feelings.

Obviously, the work matters. But how I’m remembered as more to do with how I roll with the punches and get stuff done, than the details of the stuff.

This has also been absolutely pants on the sobriety front. Big days for this project have been the closest I’ve gotten since January on the “I want a DRINK” front. Not enough to tip me over, but it’s been interesting to see that the hankering is still there, waiting for stress to trigger it.

Good thing I have stress eating to see me through! Ha ha ha sob.