Day 790: Weekend Business

So busy on the weekends! It’s distressing. A busy day in Ottawa, and wall to wall stuff to do at home today. Laundry! Radio! Podcast! Cleaning! Tiniest Gallery fix!

My co-host for WAFFLES! this morning is going to watch soccer and nap. I’m genuinely envious, but have to remind myself that I do it to myself — I take these things on, so I can hardly complain when the chickens come home to roost. But definitely feeling a bit frayed around the edges today; I was hoping a day in Ottawa and on the road would make me feel like I’d had a bit of vacation, but being the driver / car-renter / accommodation-booker / car-returner is just kind of more job as much as it is a break.

Proper vacation coming in about three weeks… I just need to keep my head down and bear away on that.

Day 778: Winter Blahs

Still a bit under the weather, and now my wife’s feelin’ it too — this is mid-February, so our working theory now is “winter blahs”. I just fired up the Happy Lamp, which is something I should use every morning.

So it’s been a not-great couple of days because of that, and I know I’m going to come out of this with a setback, but I think my goal right now is just “power through”. We’ve had a bit of a home crisis and life change recently (everything’s fine now!), and my wife’s grandmother is sadly in what seem to be her final stages of life (and her passport is expired, so travel isn’t possible). Stressors, in other words.

Hunker down, watch the food, do the 10 minutes of exercise a day, and today’s a holiday, so I’m going to kind of lean into that and goof around a bit.

Day 771: Bah!

Just… not having it today. Slow morning; hard to wake up, hard to get going. Mediocre exercise (despite tiny motivational statements).

I suspect that I’m freaking myself out over this essay for the LLM application, which is… fair, I guess. There’s a lot of ego tied up in this, and I’m surprised at how uncomfortable it makes me feel. It’s natural; I’m stretching myself (and stretching is good), but the ol’ impostor syndrome is kicking in at 150%.

“No way out but through,” as the short motivational phrase goes! I need to crack away at it til it’s done, and I don’t think I should be pressuring myself to produce the result of a future three years of LLM work as an introductory writing sample. But I am. That’s my damn brain. Dang it, brain!

Day 682: Coming Out of It

UGH. Not super sick, but super listless and motivationless — the natural consequence of being flat for a few days. I’m on the mend but have to drag myself to work today; it’s getting brutally hard to keep up at distance, and I also have a volunteer thing after hours that I’ve put off too many times already.  Bah. Bleck. Ugh.

Day 572: Back to Sluggish

Exercise has been hard these past weeks. Like, not I’ve been exercising hard, it’s been hard to do. I don’t know what got me into this phase, but I’m not enjoying it. 6k runs are wiping me out.

What will get my mojo back? I’m not sure. We’re trying this Whole 30 thing in August, but I’m not waiting for that to “save” me — I think I just need to keep pushing forward through whatever this tough hurdle is for workouts until I pop out the other side.

The important thing is to keep doing it, even though I’m in a slump. I’ve taken a couple of days off for sleep, which is often a precursor for extended breaks. Not this time.

 

Day 568: Sluuuuugish

A great weekend! Fun, friends, lots of relaxo time. But a lot of salt. I don’t know how that happened, or when I became The Guy Who Can Sense Salt Levels In His Diet, but I woke up this morning bloated and terrible.

To my credit, I did get up and hit the exercise straight away, but then went on a staggering horrible run that left me feeling like I was sweating ooze and sorrow.

I bought a pitcher yesterday, and will have greater ease of measuring my water consumption at home — it’s got measurement lines on the sides! — which will hopefully keep the dehydration/salt monster from striking again.

Discussing our mutual feelings of blargh this morning, my wife wants to try Whole30 in August… tricky for vegan/vegetarians, but apparently not impossible. In the spirit of science and trying things, it’s worth a shot… but also worth remembering that it will not be The Thing. The Thing is not coming. It’s going to be an experiment with items that possibly carry over into daily life,  but I need to stop expecting stuff like that to be The Thing.

 

Day 523: Bad sleep, uninspired

Ugh. Bad sleep last night due to family reasons; up late, hard sleeping through the night, so sleeping in, no workout, the whole jerky nine yards.

It’s the familiar story: up late, in a hurry, bah.

Side note and thought, though — haven’t followed through on that “organize yourself” book yet. Talking it over with a colleague, it’s funny that I actually have a to-do and productivity system at work that I’m pretty happy with, but I’ve never been able to crack a HOME system that works for me.

Good side note: was at a launch/reception for a thing last night; tons of booze and didn’t even feel a twinge. Somebody asked me to get them something and “oh, thanks, but I don’t drink” just kind of rolled off the tongue. Good times.

 

Day 522: Sudden Ebb

Wow! Wicked low energy today. I don’t really know why — I just ran out of juice yesterday in the late afternoon, slept lousy, and have been on a real ebb all morning. Exercised with a low-key run, had breakfast, am having some coffee, but blah. 

Nothing for it but to attempt a rally: the day’s gonna happen whether I’m energized or not, so getting to it is the best thing I can do here.

Rally rally rally! C’mon.

Day 519: Reinvigorating!

Good little row this morning; my wife ran her race yesterday and I joined her in, I guess, sympathy eating (?) later in the day. Spent most of Saturday doing yard work and fixing up a fence, yesterday was kind of… spacey. Race and lunch, and then just puttering. Made veggie broth. Worked on a tofu press. Watched a terrible movie.

Feeling kind of flat today; I think I just need to get moving and get some stuff done.

Day 231: Half-Hearted

Work stress! So some sleep stuff last night. A weird thing where there’s a situation that isn’t my fault but the fallout is mine to have fun with. And everyone knows it’s not my fault. And everyone knows I’m doing as good a job as possible dealing with the fallout. So I’m — blameless? And professionally, actually kind of look good and on the ball for doing pretty much the best job that can be done in the situation.

So kind of a meh run this morning: to my credit, I powered through the full 10k, and will be building back up to another 18, then another half-mara in mid-September ideally. Part of the meh run is due to feeling blah, another is that I’m still technically in recovery from the half-mara (and heat exhaustion) a week ago.

Podcasts and powering through this morning. Sometimes you just gotta get it done.

It’s also going to be a work from home day, a bit… a conference call related to the abovementioned this morning, and some stuff around hiring.

This will be a good day to just keep things on track. As discussed yesterday, I’ve cut myself loose from attending a beerfest this afternoon, so I’ll be focusing on some other long-neglected projects. But I need to knuckle down and do food logging and pour myself a massive jug o’ water right now, just to make sure a blah start doesn’t translate into a whole bad day.