Day 894:…or tomorrow (Day 30 of 100)

Okay, maybe I’ll be back on the horse tomorrow. Last night was largely weird stomach nighmares, for pretty obvious reasons, so it was a hard get-up this morning and I’m still reeling a little. On the good side: nary a twinge while I’m awake, so I think my bad luck with my first bout with kidney stones has met a cosmic balance in good luck from this round.

Something something Sir Thomas Aquinas something.

Day 893: Pain So Great I Can’t Remember It (Day 29 of 100)

This isn’t my first time with kidney stones, but yesterday was almost definitely worse than the first time — mercifully, it looks like, short. The first time was several months (which is a really, really long time); yesterday was acute, but I seem to have passed through it overnight.

I literally can’t recall how painful it was, which is a weird sort of memory hole. I know, intellectually, that I threw up from the pain, almost passed out, and was barely capable of calling a cab or texting my wife at points. I know I couldn’t sit down and pacing was the only thing that kept it manageable. But unlike a burn, or a bee sting, or a cut, which I can summon a sense memory for, I can’t bring the actual pain to mind. I’ve blocked it out.

Needless to say, I’m happy to be rid of it (I think) — I think I passed it in the night, as I feel fine this morning, even without eight hours of pain meds. But I’m going to keep taking the urethra-enlarging medication (that’s a thing that exists!) and drinking 2L of water a day, which was kind of the plan anyway.

Yesterday and today are a bit of a wash for tracking, etc., due to, well, trauma. But I intend to be back on things tomorrow.

Day 891: Overnight Wibbly

That was a weird, rough night — felt wibbly before I went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night feeling off; eventually went back to bed, slept a bit later, but have still managed to crank out some exercise and am almost back on track.

I feel… better? I think? It’s hard to tell if this was a passing thing; if a passing thing, I kind of suspect maybe dehydration as a culprit. I ran 10k yesterday and got into that thing at work where I felt dehydrated and thirsty but kept “just one more thing before I get up and go get water”-ing until the day was over and I went home.

So let’s chalk it up to mild dehydration making me feel weird, and make Big Water a goal for today.

Despite a slightly shaky Sunday things are still going well; the Magic Bag is working, One Day At A Time is helping me battle snack cravings, and hopefully all of this in aggregate over a long period of time will help me rewrite the “bored, stressed, anxious = eat” part of my brain through repeated resistance of that instinct.

I know I’ve said this a few times but I’ve been reading diet-resistance articles recently, all very well founded (here’s one), and again: I’m not hungry. I’m eating an appropriate amount. I’m just trying to retrain my snackin’ brain from treating food like a pastime instead of a source of nourishment.

Day 890: Birds and Cats, Rabbits and Foxes (Day 28 of 100)

Good run this morning; nothing record-breaking but then again, records are infrequent by design. Rabbits on the trail, which is nice to see; I’ve seen urban foxes recently too, which I’m guessing is related to the rise in urban rabbits recently. People think the foxes are charming but don’t like seeing them eat the rabbits; they especially don’t like seeing the foxes eat their cats, but then again, the cats are eating the songbirds, so.

The point? Not sure; just running 10k in a developed environment and watching nature creep in. A walk in the woods yesterday had us surrounded by birdsong at one point, which is something we don’t have at home.

A little more snacking yesterday than I’d like; some slippage due to D&D night wreaking havoc on my sleep; I tried to nap but it didn’t happen, so I was super tired and my willpower was low. Not that big a deal in the balance; just reinforces the need for the magic bag.

Day 889: Magic Bag Strains (Day 27 of 100)

It’s been an okay couple of days for the Magic Bag, but it’s definitely flexing against the necessities of life. Things get unpredictable when you leave the house, so there’s been some adjustments yesterday and today.

On the whole, though, I’m happy. Weight’s up a little, which is kinda weird, but obsessing about points isn’t the point; this is 100 days to retrain myself on how I eat, and hopefully my instinctive approach to food, which is going to be healthy in the long run.

It might be good to point out I’m not starving myself; I’m eating appropriate calories for a man, just in the lower half of that range. I’m also not hungry all the time, which is a good sign. About an hour before meals I start to get hungry, and I think that’s also a good sign; by the time I eat, both lunch and dinner, I’ve got an appetite. That seems like how things should be, instead of just kind of being sated all the time.

Sunday today; no ‘real’ exercise but we’re going to do a nature trail this morning, and hopefully I’ll have a big nap late morning or early afternoon (D&D last night; I’m running on about five hours’ sleep).

Day 888: That’s three 8’s! (Day 26 of 100)

Things are… still good. Sleeping well (probably partly because of good regular exercise), feeling positive. Yesterday was a bit of a challenge for the ol’ Magic Bag, because even if you can see a menu online before you visit a restaurant, you still don’t know exactly what the food will be, and I felt full all afternoon in an uncomfortable way I haven’t felt since I started this, with an added appearance from the Salt Monster.

My first weight gain in two weeks on the scales this morning too — again, I suspect not really understanding portions when I filled the magic bag in the morning, and some water retention after a delicious (but salty [and that’s why it’s delicious!]) meal.

Today’s another restaurant day! So I’m going to be very conservative with food for the rest of the day and save up, and try to do a little presearch to see what our options are. The town we’re going to abuts a reserve, which means there might be more interesting food options, but the vegan question is always a good one.

Day 887: 25% and feeling fine

25% into the 100-day challenge! Not the fastest run today, but I was reading some threads on running wisdom on Reddit and the most common theme was “not every day is a race.” So there. Also, I saw a very handsome fox.

I feel… good. Hopefully not jinxing myself by saying that, but after two false starts (including the first 10 days of this start), I think I’m really in the groove with the one day at a time, Magic Bag, exercise every day but Sunday approach. Probably the fact that it’s actually light out in the morning has something to do with it to.

I feel good, though! I’m still dropping what I think of as the “easy weight;” four or five pounds when I get in the groove is pretty normal. It’s the next 75 days that are going to be the hill to climb, and the important thing there is not to think of it as 75 days. It’s one day at a time. It’s not a matter of saying “oh my God, I have to be great for another two and a half months,” it’s just focusing on the next 12 hours. Can I exercise today? I can. Can I go just today without eating anything outside the Magic Bag? I can.

We’re coming up on the weekend, and a big challenge: the road trip. We’re going to be in uncharted waters Saturday afternoon and evening, so I’m prepping by looking at restaurants where we plan to be on the Internet with the intent of filling the Magic Bag on Saturday morning with what I intend to eat Saturday evening.

It’s been a fast 25 days!